Mardukas Rises

It was just over a month ago when I last posted.  Complaining about being a measly 2-8 combined in my 2 favorite leagues.  Since then, my drafted depth has carried me to a combined 11-9 for the season between the two aforementioned leagues.  Maybe I do know what i'm talking about.  Both leagues have no clear cut favorite, with injuries spreading through the NFL like the clap through Pattaya Beach, no team is safe.  That's where depth comes into play.  

Heres what ESPN has to say about the league formerly known as Somali Pirates Only

Last week's matchups further entrenched the league in an "Anybodies Game" scenario with now being mathematically eliminated with only 3 weeks to go before the playoffs.  Although, as each of the 6-4 teams win throughout the next three weeks, the doors of opportunity shut for our 3-7 and 4-6 teams.  One of the most bizarre things about this league is that league leader Hawaiian Meth Lab sit at 7-3, but is the 9th highest scoring team where as the little ape and his "Don't Stop Believing" misfits are the third highest scoring team but barring total collapses among the 6-4 teams has almost no chance to vie for his second league championship.  With that being said, lets elaborate in a new segment I like to call....

Fantasy Bios

Chapter 1:  The Little Ape that couldn't

Although this is official the second year of the Four Loko Society of Lemoore, the league is actually a legacy version of our squadron's "boat" league that goes back to the 2010-2011 season.  The league results, standings, rosters and brackets of the first two seasons have been lost in ESPN Fantasy Archives.  The only thing remembered by anyone is that IS1 Phillip "Robdog" Roberts won the first season only to fade into fantasy sport obscurity.  Season 2 is where everything changed for Chim Chim.  Winning the league, but no respect left the Ape hungry and determined....so much so that he chose to have his team auto-drafted for his championship defense season in our boat league.  The same day he drafted his own team for the inaugural season of our current league.  His auto-draft team dominated the regular season recording only one loss, while his live-drafted team finished tied for the worst record in league.  Mojo-jo-jo still had high expectations heading to the playoffs in his title defense only to lose in his first matchup to the one and only Commissioner Hank Mardukas, the very man who created his auto-drafted team. In that victory the curse of the Silver Monkey was born.   Any defending champion who auto-drafts is destined to fantasy obscurity for the rest of his days.  Which explains why, the ape can't buy a win this year despite having Calvin Johnson, Jimmy Graham, and Eddy Lacy on his roster.  To balance his roster's triumphs, the ape has made equally poor decisions, specifically, dropping Jordan Cameron and Alshon Jeffrey, both of whom could easily have changed his record from 3-7 to 5-5 or 6-4. And so goes the story of the little ape who couldn't.

Siragusa's Sliders Shack - Matchup 1

"There can be only one"  Go Dan 6-4 vs team Olson 6-4

Battle for the Birds of War Division

Before thursday,riding a four game win streak and looking at this matchup it would be easy to chalk this one up for Go Dan, but after T.Y. Hilton's lackluster performance paired with the titans putting up a goose egg for the man known as DAN COLL, this could been anyone's game.  Team Olson is one of many fantasy owners left at an crossroads with the injury to Aaron Rogers, and she has turned to Big Ben to fill the void.  If history has taught us anything, Big Ben hates Dan Coll.  After leading Go Dan to their first championship, Big Ben and team manager Dan Coll had a falling out over some soup and has since done everything in his power to destroy dan coll.  This week, Team Olson is the benefactor.  Team Olson's weakness all season has been depth at running back, or lack there of.  Starting the likes of the Lawfirm and Montee Ball on a weekly basis only exposes her more without Aaron Rogers filling the void.  This week Big Ben (thanks to dan coll) will provide more than enough to get the job done.  

Siragusa's Sliders Shack - Matchup 2

Jaycutty Bustanutty 6-4 vs the Screaming Ditkas 5-5

Tuggin on Bustanutty's Cape

Jaycutty is looking for a clean sweep on the Knowlton's after taking out Team Olson and The Leash City Tuskens in consecutive weeks.  The only man standing in his way from clinching a playoff spot, is Papa Bear Knowlton himself and his Screaming Ditkas.  Kendall Wright, Coby Fleener, and Adam Vinatieri, on an average week one might expect 27 pts combined (yahoo's projection), but to leave Thursday Nights game with 52.7 pts is more than ANYONE could have expected, and should be a cause of great concern for Cutty.  The Screaming Ditka's are riding Nick Foles' hot streak and playing against the terrible Redskins secondary should not slow him down one bit.  The key to this matchup will the #2 rb spot and the flex, which pins Rashard Mendenhall and Fred Jackson vs Leveon Bell and Pierre Thomas.  I wouldn't want any of those backs determining my playoff potential, but if I had to choose one, i'd go with Leveon due to the surplus of carries of he gets on a regular basis. That being said, i'm giving this one to The Screaming Ditkas.

Four Loko Society of Lemoore Matchups Quick Hits

South Beach Rain Makers ($$$) (6-4)Anthony Barksdale	14
Team Lesnar (TOF) (5-5)brock jones	20.5

Huge playoff implications in this one.  Both teams are solid top to bottom with only maybe one questionable start a piece, Hakeem Nicks for Lesnar and Anquan Boldin for the Rainmakers.  Giving this one to the Rainmakers thanks to Fleener over performing on thursday.

Jay Cutler's Arm (JCA) (4-6)Matthew Trexler	0
Tx Midnight CocK (HERN) (6-4)Andy Hernandez

This is JCA's last stand, and knowing it rests upon the shoulders of the least consistent "#1" receiver in football (Marques Colston) and Marvin Jones can't give Trex the warm and fuzzies.  Sorry little buddy, time to focus on fantasy basketball.

Don't Stop Believing (BH13) (3-7)Nate Enterline	9
Lebron Janikowskiiiis (CROZ) (4-6)Joshua Crosby	0

With his season all but over, the Ape will begin his role as bracket buster this week.  First up, putting the Janikowskiiis out to pasture. 

CHALUPA BATMAN (CASH) (4-6)Charles Cash	0
[)eath Via Aerial/-\ssault (DVA) (5-5)Chad Thomas	0

Upset alert.  Call it a gut call, but Cashanova keeps his playoff hopes alive this week.

Hawaiian Meth Lab (METH) (7-3)Josh Roznowski	0
Team DopeAssOriental (RICE) (6-4)anthony dao	0

The only things worst than these two rosters is the fact that one will get another W and both have a good chance to make the playoffs.  Which should have all the other playoff contenders licking their chops.

Taylorgang Reed (REED) (6-4)Taylor Reed	41.5
BROOKLYN BEATDOWN (BKD) (5-5)kervin morales	6.5

Game of the week by far.  Reed continues his luck streak with a huge game from donald brown on thursday, and will cement his playoff position this week.  

Fan Duel Lineup

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QB	Josh McCown CHI v BAL
RB	Ben Tate HOU v OAK
RB	Alfred Morris WAS @ PHI
WR	Alshon Jeffery CHI v BAL
WR	Pierre Garcon WAS @ PHI
WR	Calvin Johnson DET @ PIT
TE	Julius Thomas DEN v KC
K	Josh Scobee JAC v ARI
D	New York Jets NYJ @ BUF

Banking on the McCown to Jeffery connection this week. The Bills are playing without their #1 and 2 receivers, and with the Jets stout run defense, they will feast this week. 

Half an hour till Kickoff folks. 

As Always.

Kick Rocks,

Your Hero Mardukas.